Hope: Not Eternal
Bob Hope died this week at the absurd age of 100. His passing comes fast on the heels of a disagreement I had this past week with a friend who claimed Hope was dead. That I argued that Hope was alive may come as a surprise to regular readers of this space, but in this case I had seen a lack of evidence to support the reverse.
It is interesting to me that the only people who seem to live to their centenary are the very rich or the very poor. These are the classes who have access to either the finest medical care or none at all. They are kept alive on one hand by the greatest advances in drugs and technology and on the other by herbs and yogurt. The rest of us are slaughtered off by run of the mill medical professionals at a more appropriate age.
Even among the super rich, 100 used to be more of a milestone. When George Burns lived to be 100, it was a remarkable achievement. Now, if you don't make it into your 90s, you're considered a slacker. Buddy Ebsen died earlier this month at 95; Katherine Hepburn a few weeks earlier at 96. Milton Berle died last year at 93. Gregory Peck was a comparative spring chicken, making it only to 87. By comparison, Bing Crosby, Bob Hope's contemporary and longtime foil, has been dead for 25 years.
Hope and Hepburn will be jockeying for position at next year's Oscarcast salute to the dead. Hepburn was the greater star, but Hope was the greater Oscar star, hosting or cohosting the show 18 times over a span of 40 years, including its first television broadcast in 1953. In addition, he received five special Oscars, which is one more than Hepburn's four legitimate wins. I expect they'll open with Hope and close with Hepburn, since on the average Oscarcast Hope would be the first person you'd see. Or they may just give him his own tribute. God knows they've got the clips for it.
I always like Bob Hope, though I'm not particularly moved at his passing. It's hard to imagine anyone disliking Bob Hope. He reminds me of my childhood. Outside of a few cameo roles, his movie career was pretty much over by the time I was 10, so I only saw his movies on TV. They were goofy enough for me to enjoy, and I was young enough to not want anything more out of them. I'd see him on the Oscars or on one of his zillions of TV appearances with Jack Benny or George Burns, and all was well with the world. He occupies a similar place in my heart and mind as John Wayne: an avuncular star I could count on. I might not have liked his politics - once I was old enough to know what his politics were, as well as what my own were - but he came from a time when performers didn't shove their politics down your throat. But since he'd dropped off my radar about 20 years, and since he was definitely not getting any younger, I was ready for him to go.
It's been a tough summer for celebs. Things got off to a bad start in May, when Robert Stack and June Carter Cash died back to back mid-month. But the rush to the cemetery started on June 6th, when David Brinkley followed his one-time co-anchor Chet Huntley into the great beyond. Many folks date the dying season from the next day, when Gregory Peck passed. Three days later it was Hume Cronyn (91 years young), a week later Leon Uris. Then the tag team exit of Lester Maddox and Strom Thurmond. June closed out with Katherine Hepburn and Buddy Hackett, and July opened up with Barry White (who got enough of your love, babe) and Buddy Ebsen. This week brought both Hope and John Schlesinger. And that's not counting music producer Sam Phillips, children's book author Robert McCloskey, theater director Joseph Chaikin or singer Celia Cruz.
Nor does it include former Representative Bob Stump. Stump is known for having announced the death of Bob Hope on the House floor on June 5, 1998, a full five years before Bob was ready to go. The Associated Press had accidentally posted Hope's obit on their website. Stump picked up the item and passed it on to the assembled House. It wasn't until a reporter called Hope's house for a comment that the gaffe was caught. Stump died on June 20th, so Hope had the last laugh.
The people most interested in Hope's death are the participants in The Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool at stiffs.com. The Atwater is a competition, now in its eighth year, in which players bet on which celebrities will die that year. Players pick ten names, and whoever gets the most right wins the kitty. The tournament is a year-long event, so if you want to play you have to wait until 2004. Bob Hope was on 600 lists, more than half of the nearly 1100 entered, so his death was a relief to a lot of players. Warren Zevon tops the charts, with his name on 614 entries. Zevon has been diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer, so it seems a safe bet. Still, that announcement came out nearly a year ago, so you never can tell.
In addition to the Dead Pool, stiffs runs snarky obits for the dearly departed. For example, when Denis Thatcher and Strom Thurmond died on the same day, this is how stiffs presented it: "Denis Thatcher (06/26) Close, but no cigar." "Strom Thurmond (06/26) Cigar." For Carol Shields, they wrote, "The Pulitzer-Prize winning Canadian novelist is survived and mourned by long-time mime partner Yarnell." For Nell Carter it was simply, "Ain't respiratin'." If mocking the dead is not your cup of tea, stiffs is not for you. If it is, drink heartily.
It is interesting to me that the only people who seem to live to their centenary are the very rich or the very poor. These are the classes who have access to either the finest medical care or none at all. They are kept alive on one hand by the greatest advances in drugs and technology and on the other by herbs and yogurt. The rest of us are slaughtered off by run of the mill medical professionals at a more appropriate age.
Even among the super rich, 100 used to be more of a milestone. When George Burns lived to be 100, it was a remarkable achievement. Now, if you don't make it into your 90s, you're considered a slacker. Buddy Ebsen died earlier this month at 95; Katherine Hepburn a few weeks earlier at 96. Milton Berle died last year at 93. Gregory Peck was a comparative spring chicken, making it only to 87. By comparison, Bing Crosby, Bob Hope's contemporary and longtime foil, has been dead for 25 years.
Hope and Hepburn will be jockeying for position at next year's Oscarcast salute to the dead. Hepburn was the greater star, but Hope was the greater Oscar star, hosting or cohosting the show 18 times over a span of 40 years, including its first television broadcast in 1953. In addition, he received five special Oscars, which is one more than Hepburn's four legitimate wins. I expect they'll open with Hope and close with Hepburn, since on the average Oscarcast Hope would be the first person you'd see. Or they may just give him his own tribute. God knows they've got the clips for it.
I always like Bob Hope, though I'm not particularly moved at his passing. It's hard to imagine anyone disliking Bob Hope. He reminds me of my childhood. Outside of a few cameo roles, his movie career was pretty much over by the time I was 10, so I only saw his movies on TV. They were goofy enough for me to enjoy, and I was young enough to not want anything more out of them. I'd see him on the Oscars or on one of his zillions of TV appearances with Jack Benny or George Burns, and all was well with the world. He occupies a similar place in my heart and mind as John Wayne: an avuncular star I could count on. I might not have liked his politics - once I was old enough to know what his politics were, as well as what my own were - but he came from a time when performers didn't shove their politics down your throat. But since he'd dropped off my radar about 20 years, and since he was definitely not getting any younger, I was ready for him to go.
It's been a tough summer for celebs. Things got off to a bad start in May, when Robert Stack and June Carter Cash died back to back mid-month. But the rush to the cemetery started on June 6th, when David Brinkley followed his one-time co-anchor Chet Huntley into the great beyond. Many folks date the dying season from the next day, when Gregory Peck passed. Three days later it was Hume Cronyn (91 years young), a week later Leon Uris. Then the tag team exit of Lester Maddox and Strom Thurmond. June closed out with Katherine Hepburn and Buddy Hackett, and July opened up with Barry White (who got enough of your love, babe) and Buddy Ebsen. This week brought both Hope and John Schlesinger. And that's not counting music producer Sam Phillips, children's book author Robert McCloskey, theater director Joseph Chaikin or singer Celia Cruz.
Nor does it include former Representative Bob Stump. Stump is known for having announced the death of Bob Hope on the House floor on June 5, 1998, a full five years before Bob was ready to go. The Associated Press had accidentally posted Hope's obit on their website. Stump picked up the item and passed it on to the assembled House. It wasn't until a reporter called Hope's house for a comment that the gaffe was caught. Stump died on June 20th, so Hope had the last laugh.
The people most interested in Hope's death are the participants in The Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool at stiffs.com. The Atwater is a competition, now in its eighth year, in which players bet on which celebrities will die that year. Players pick ten names, and whoever gets the most right wins the kitty. The tournament is a year-long event, so if you want to play you have to wait until 2004. Bob Hope was on 600 lists, more than half of the nearly 1100 entered, so his death was a relief to a lot of players. Warren Zevon tops the charts, with his name on 614 entries. Zevon has been diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer, so it seems a safe bet. Still, that announcement came out nearly a year ago, so you never can tell.
In addition to the Dead Pool, stiffs runs snarky obits for the dearly departed. For example, when Denis Thatcher and Strom Thurmond died on the same day, this is how stiffs presented it: "Denis Thatcher (06/26) Close, but no cigar." "Strom Thurmond (06/26) Cigar." For Carol Shields, they wrote, "The Pulitzer-Prize winning Canadian novelist is survived and mourned by long-time mime partner Yarnell." For Nell Carter it was simply, "Ain't respiratin'." If mocking the dead is not your cup of tea, stiffs is not for you. If it is, drink heartily.
posted by John Bliss at
10:39 AM
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