Baby, It's Cold Outside
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
- Robert Frost
Some say in alien invasion,
Some say in the attack of a giant Japanese sea monster.
- Roland Emmerich
Having ended the world in fire with Independence Day, Emmerich turns to ice in The Day After Tomorrow, with some assistance from tidal wave, giant hail and killer tornadoes. The flick is all about global annihilation for the attention deficit crowd. Dennis Quaid plays a paleoclimatologist - yes, it's a real word, believe it or not - who predicts that the earth may be facing a new Ice Age in as little as 100 years. Or maybe 6 to 8 weeks. I mean 48 hours. This is climate change for Americans, who want their catastrophe NOW. The spreading snow and ice destroy everything north of the Mason-Dixon line. Hmmm. Freeze to death, move to Alabama. Tough choice. The movie was inspired by the book, The Coming Global Superstorm, written by radio paranoiac Art Bell and multiple abduction victim Whitley Streiber, which might give you some idea of its scientific credibility.
But we're not here for science, we're here for action! And action abounds, at least action on a meteorological scale. If you've seen the trailers, you've seen the movie. The effects are astonishing, and used in scenes of both humor and shock, similar to the flying cow in Twister (reprised in Van Helsing). Both the ice storm in Tokyo and the tornadoes in LA involve some grisly deaths, but since we are not invested in the characters in any emotional way, they play as comedy rather than tragedy,. I won't go into more detail, because surprise is part of the fun, but if you want to see Mother Nature Smackdown, this is the flick for you. (If you've watched any television in the past month, you've probably seen the bulk of destruction and all of the effects, but I'll believe for a moment that some of my readers have not been spoiled.)
Other reviews have discussed the bad dialogue in the picture. I can't remember a single line. Take that as you will. I'm sure there's plenty of standard disaster movie boilerplate, but this isn't kind of movie you go to for the repartee. As testimony to this fact, there are no "memorable quotes" listed on the Internet Movie Database site. This must be a first. Even Troy has memorable quotes.
The worst thing about the movie - and with a film like this, just starting a sentence in such a manner is a dangerous proposition - is that it doesn't believe in brains. Dennis Quaid's character, Jack Hall, is a sort of weather historian (paleo + climatologist) who has just returned from a conference in India, which has experienced its coldest weather in history, including a snowstorm. Hail the size of toasters is falling in Japan. A major storm is building off the East Coast. His son Sam, played by Jake Gyllenhaal, is flying to New York. Dad never thinks to say, "Son, this might not be a good weekend to travel."
Sam is afraid of flying. The train from Union Station in DC, where he lives, to Penn Station in NYC takes about 3 hours, and departs every half hour. A flight from Dulles to Newark takes about and hour and 15 minutes. Factor in picking up your luggage and catching the bus to Penn Station, and you're talking about another 45 minutes. Any rational human being would say, "Screw the hour, I'll take the train." But that means Sam wouldn't have the opportunity to have a complete emotional breakdown in front of the girl he has a crush on. Slick. Yes, I know, this is a disaster movie, and logical human behavior must take a back seat to action, but please. This is a movie where people in subzero temperatures take off their gloves to touch metal! What!!! Obviously, no one here has ever had their tongue stuck to an ice cube tray.
Sam and his pals are in New York as part of an academic decathlon team when the killer snowstorm hits. The would-be girlfriend despairs of all her studying, saying it was preparing her for a future that no longer exists. Isn't any of that knowledge useful in this situation? Even if they don't have the answers at their fingertips, they're holed up inside the New York Public Library - you'd think they'd be able to research some information. But no. Outside of the librarian who looks up blood poisoning and the kid who fixes the radio, no one uses their noggin. Eventually the kids are forced to burn books to stay warm. I've been to the Library, and it's probably 60% wood. The characters are shown lounging about on overstuffed chairs. No one thinks to bust 'em up for kindling. When Sam finally breaks up a chair, it's to use the wicker backs for snowshoes. Hasn't anyone ever built a fire before?
Whilst out and about on their snowshoes, Sam and company are chased by a pack of wolves. (This is a surprise only if you've never seen a movie before.) By this time, we've already seen survivors on the street, trying to get out of town. Shouldn't these wolves be stuffed full of New Yorkers by now? Apparently not. In the midst of being chased by hungry wolves, the super-cooled air from the troposphere puts in an appearance. All you need to know about super-cooled air is 1) it kills instantly, 2) you can tell it's coming because everything frosts over, and 3) it can only be stopped by ... a closed door! The kids run and run and run, being chased by killer frost (I kid you not) and make it back to safety just steps ahead of a nasty ice burn. Once the cold has passed, does anyone think that maybe it's a good time to go out and roast some frozen wolf? What do you think you're watching, Nanook of the North?
I understand that this sort of quibbling is pointless in a movie which is essentially a big dumb comic book. But wouldn't it be more fun if the characters were actually resourceful? The CGI artists brought incredible creativity to devising the effects shots in this flick. It would be nice if someone had expended a little on the script.
For me, the most shocking thing about the movie was the number of parents who brought their small children. Despite the PG-13 rating, this is not, NOT, a movie for kids. Granted, there's no sex or nudity (sorry Jake Gyllenhall fans), no foul language and no gore. There are some fairly explicit death scenes, though, some frozen corpses, one scary wolf attack and, oh yeah, the extermination of millions of people, including (presumably) the parents of the one small child who is a major character. The screening I attended was full of wailing and weeping. And for a change it wasn't me.
Some say in ice.
- Robert Frost
Some say in alien invasion,
Some say in the attack of a giant Japanese sea monster.
- Roland Emmerich
Having ended the world in fire with Independence Day, Emmerich turns to ice in The Day After Tomorrow, with some assistance from tidal wave, giant hail and killer tornadoes. The flick is all about global annihilation for the attention deficit crowd. Dennis Quaid plays a paleoclimatologist - yes, it's a real word, believe it or not - who predicts that the earth may be facing a new Ice Age in as little as 100 years. Or maybe 6 to 8 weeks. I mean 48 hours. This is climate change for Americans, who want their catastrophe NOW. The spreading snow and ice destroy everything north of the Mason-Dixon line. Hmmm. Freeze to death, move to Alabama. Tough choice. The movie was inspired by the book, The Coming Global Superstorm, written by radio paranoiac Art Bell and multiple abduction victim Whitley Streiber, which might give you some idea of its scientific credibility.
But we're not here for science, we're here for action! And action abounds, at least action on a meteorological scale. If you've seen the trailers, you've seen the movie. The effects are astonishing, and used in scenes of both humor and shock, similar to the flying cow in Twister (reprised in Van Helsing). Both the ice storm in Tokyo and the tornadoes in LA involve some grisly deaths, but since we are not invested in the characters in any emotional way, they play as comedy rather than tragedy,. I won't go into more detail, because surprise is part of the fun, but if you want to see Mother Nature Smackdown, this is the flick for you. (If you've watched any television in the past month, you've probably seen the bulk of destruction and all of the effects, but I'll believe for a moment that some of my readers have not been spoiled.)
Other reviews have discussed the bad dialogue in the picture. I can't remember a single line. Take that as you will. I'm sure there's plenty of standard disaster movie boilerplate, but this isn't kind of movie you go to for the repartee. As testimony to this fact, there are no "memorable quotes" listed on the Internet Movie Database site. This must be a first. Even Troy has memorable quotes.
The worst thing about the movie - and with a film like this, just starting a sentence in such a manner is a dangerous proposition - is that it doesn't believe in brains. Dennis Quaid's character, Jack Hall, is a sort of weather historian (paleo + climatologist) who has just returned from a conference in India, which has experienced its coldest weather in history, including a snowstorm. Hail the size of toasters is falling in Japan. A major storm is building off the East Coast. His son Sam, played by Jake Gyllenhaal, is flying to New York. Dad never thinks to say, "Son, this might not be a good weekend to travel."
Sam is afraid of flying. The train from Union Station in DC, where he lives, to Penn Station in NYC takes about 3 hours, and departs every half hour. A flight from Dulles to Newark takes about and hour and 15 minutes. Factor in picking up your luggage and catching the bus to Penn Station, and you're talking about another 45 minutes. Any rational human being would say, "Screw the hour, I'll take the train." But that means Sam wouldn't have the opportunity to have a complete emotional breakdown in front of the girl he has a crush on. Slick. Yes, I know, this is a disaster movie, and logical human behavior must take a back seat to action, but please. This is a movie where people in subzero temperatures take off their gloves to touch metal! What!!! Obviously, no one here has ever had their tongue stuck to an ice cube tray.
Sam and his pals are in New York as part of an academic decathlon team when the killer snowstorm hits. The would-be girlfriend despairs of all her studying, saying it was preparing her for a future that no longer exists. Isn't any of that knowledge useful in this situation? Even if they don't have the answers at their fingertips, they're holed up inside the New York Public Library - you'd think they'd be able to research some information. But no. Outside of the librarian who looks up blood poisoning and the kid who fixes the radio, no one uses their noggin. Eventually the kids are forced to burn books to stay warm. I've been to the Library, and it's probably 60% wood. The characters are shown lounging about on overstuffed chairs. No one thinks to bust 'em up for kindling. When Sam finally breaks up a chair, it's to use the wicker backs for snowshoes. Hasn't anyone ever built a fire before?
Whilst out and about on their snowshoes, Sam and company are chased by a pack of wolves. (This is a surprise only if you've never seen a movie before.) By this time, we've already seen survivors on the street, trying to get out of town. Shouldn't these wolves be stuffed full of New Yorkers by now? Apparently not. In the midst of being chased by hungry wolves, the super-cooled air from the troposphere puts in an appearance. All you need to know about super-cooled air is 1) it kills instantly, 2) you can tell it's coming because everything frosts over, and 3) it can only be stopped by ... a closed door! The kids run and run and run, being chased by killer frost (I kid you not) and make it back to safety just steps ahead of a nasty ice burn. Once the cold has passed, does anyone think that maybe it's a good time to go out and roast some frozen wolf? What do you think you're watching, Nanook of the North?
I understand that this sort of quibbling is pointless in a movie which is essentially a big dumb comic book. But wouldn't it be more fun if the characters were actually resourceful? The CGI artists brought incredible creativity to devising the effects shots in this flick. It would be nice if someone had expended a little on the script.
For me, the most shocking thing about the movie was the number of parents who brought their small children. Despite the PG-13 rating, this is not, NOT, a movie for kids. Granted, there's no sex or nudity (sorry Jake Gyllenhall fans), no foul language and no gore. There are some fairly explicit death scenes, though, some frozen corpses, one scary wolf attack and, oh yeah, the extermination of millions of people, including (presumably) the parents of the one small child who is a major character. The screening I attended was full of wailing and weeping. And for a change it wasn't me.
posted by John Bliss at
12:59 PM
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