Where's Osama?
He's all the rage with the kids today, with his scraggly bread and turban, his big round glasses and trademark red and white striped shirt. Can you spot him in this crowded Pakistani bazaar or seemingly empty Afghan cave? Maybe he's in Tibet. Or India. Or even insurgent-happy Iraq! With eight months since his last video message, crazy Osama, now known by his street name of UBL, could be anywhere.
With fewer than a dozen days left until the election, more than a few folks are wondering if he's prepping for his role as the October Surprise. I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Rove! It's quite possible the Bushies have him on ice somewhere. Maybe even literally on ice, having killed him in active engagement or stumbled across him, dead of failed kidneys, somewhere on the Sino-Indian border. The question for the GOPs is when to reveal the exquisite corpse. After all, Rove told Sean Hannity at the end of September to expect a surprise this month, and there are only 9 days left. Let's hope it's something more substantial than the foolishness over at Sinclair broadcasting.
The venerable history of the October Surprise goes back to those heady days of the fall of 1980. In this case, "fall" means both "Autumn" and "collapse." 52 Americans were held hostage in Iraq and Ronald Reagan and President Carter were battling it out for the White House. Although the release of the hostages was brokered in October of that year, they weren't released until January 20, 1981, the day of Ronald Reagan's inauguration. Some believe that members of the Reagan campaign worked with members of the CIA to delay the release of the hostages, since an immediate release would have helped Carter's reelection effort. Surprise! Though campaigns of both parties have used the Surprise over the years, Karl Rove is the current master of the dirty trick, as he has demonstrated in contests involving Ann Richards, Max Cleland and John McCain.
Obviously, there's no point in announcing the capture or killing of Osama too early. The last thing anyone wants is a bounce that dissipates before election day. Even worse, releasing the news early gives pundits and spin-meisters and journalists - if there are any left in this country - the opportunity to call the ploy a ploy. There's always the possibility of a backlash. As Ross Baker, a political science professor at Rutgers University, says, "Producing a high-level al Qaeda leader would immediately invite suspicion about whether this person has been cooling his heels in a safe house some place." The safest thing to do is to save the announcement until election eve, and hope the masses are great enough asses to overlook the timing and simply perceive you as the saviour you are. Some have gone as far as to say the Bushies don't actually need Osama, they just need a viable corpse. They can simply announce killing a "high ranking al Qaeda official" in Pakistan, and say they need to verify his identification before they can make a statement. By the time he is discovered not to be Osama, on Nov. 3, it's too late.
The other problem with hauling out Osasma's remains too early is that someone like Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the Iraqi beheader who recently announced his alliance with al Qaeda, will annoint himself as leader of the terrorist org. Zarqawi is a young and nimble capo, and just the guy to take over the reins when the old boss retires. On the other hand, Zarqawi is probably not enough of a celeb to the average American that his capture would provide the necessary oomph for a last minute push. There is, of course, the possibility that despite his radio silence, Osama is still on the loose. But as you can see from the above example, saying you've captured Osama and actually capturing Osama is not necessarily the same thing.
Bush is currently saying of Kerry, "he can run, but he can't hide," a bromide he previously applied to Osama bin Laden. Back when he was still thinking about him. John Stewart has observed that so far, bin Laden has been able to do both. We'll see what the next week brings.
*****
The China Daily Website refutes reports that Osama bin Laden is hiding in western China. Their coverage makes me think I'm reading the wrong news outlets. The paper calls a reporter's query about the report "such an outlandish question," and says of bin Laden, "stories about his hiding have been flying around." The article concludes with the proposition that "The report should be carried in the fiction section, which allows flights of fantasy rather than hard facts."
The home page of China Daily features, along with standard National, Business and Sports news, links to two special sections, US Elections and Glorious China. The former carries the same news feeds as Yahoo ("Kids pick Kerry to be the next president," "Bush receives endorsement from Iran"). The latter is 80% Deng Xiaoping. Glorious.
*****
In response to a Weekly Reader story about Christian Spam, one correspondent observed that "Christian One Low Bill sounds like a Chinese dish." I laughed and laughed.
*****
There You Go Again
Teresa Heinz Kerry shot off her mouth about Laura Bush this week, saying "I don't know that she's ever had a real job - I mean, since she's been grown up." After the Bush campaign - in the non-partisan reporting of the New York Times - "pounced on the remark," THK apologized, saying, "I had forgotten that Mrs. Bush had worked as a schoolteacher and librarian, and there couldn't be a more important job than teaching our children." Mrs. Bush graciously accepted, saying there was no need for an apology and that she understood how easy it is to misspeak on the campaign trail. This was not sufficient for Bush bulldog Karen Hughes, who said on CNN, "These kind of comments are an unfortunate way to try to drive a wedge between women who work at home and women who work outside the home. And I think it's just unfortunate to try to disparage women who have made the choice of making their families a priority." Apparently Ms. Hughes is also unaware that Mrs. Bush has worked outside the home. Told that THK had apologized, Hughes said, "the apology also made the comment worse, because she seems to have forgotten that being a mother is a real job." That argument might hold more water had Heinz Kerry not added, "As someone who has been both a full-time mom and full-time in work force, I know we all have valuable experiences that shape who we are."
My heart goes out to Laura Bush. Not for Teresa's comment. But as a former teacher and librarian, and as an advocate for literacy, it must be horrifying to live with three of the least literate people in the country. We all make our deals with the devil.
*****
In Other News ...
Members of George Bush's extended family have come out against his candidacy. A number of them have joined together to create the site, Bush Relatives for Kerry. They are descendants of the sister of Prescott Bush, the father of George H.W. Bush. In other words, their parents are all cousins to the first President Bush. And none of them are invited to the family Christmas party.
The family dynamic comes out most clearly in statement by Chris House, a teacher in Washington state. (Prescott's sister Mary Bush married Francis E. House, Jr.) "Being a son of George Herbert Walker Bush's first cousin, I've been witness to a family that bred itself for leadership. Bushes have made their political mark on a local, national and global level, with mixed success. The thing that troubles me most with this current president is a heightened sense of entitlement. Throughout the 2000 election process, George W. Bush seemed to view his ascendancy as something of a given, something he didn't feel he had to work for along the way, like many others before him. The reigning symptom of this attitude is this: there is a stubborn refusal to look at a given situation in other, possibly more constructive ways. 'I was made for this position - so I've got to be right.'" In other words, George W. Bush has always been a dick.
*****
On the Links page of Bush Relatives for Kerry, there's a link to Librarians Against Bush. It seems ironic that librarians have become the first line of defense for our civil liberties, but such is the case. They were the first ones to speak out against the Patriot Act, leading John Ashcroft to accuse them of "baseless hysteria." Records obtained by the ACLU through the Freedom of Information Act show that, within a month of stating that the sections of the Act that apply directly to libraries, Sections 215 and 216, had never been used, Section 215 was, in fact, used. Baseless hysteria! According to the ACLU, among the documents they obtained is "an internal FBI memo, dated October 29, 2003, acknowledging that Section 215 of the Patriot Act can be used to obtain information about innocent people. The memo contradicts the government's assertion, made repeatedly on the public record, that Section 215 can be used only against suspected terrorists and spies." Baseless!
Being librarians, the librarians cite the Benjamin Franklin quote, "Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both."
*****
Ancestry.com has turned up another relative who opposes George Bush's reelection: John Kerry. The genealogy site has traced the bloodlines of both men back, back, back to the turn of the 17th century, with the union of Edmund Reade (born 1563) and Elizabeth Cooke (born 1578). Among their children were Margaret, born 1598, and Elizabeth, born 1615. Nine generations later on Elizabeth's side, we find John Kerry. Eleven generations down from Margaret comes GWB. This makes them ninth cousins twice removed, or so I am told.
All that this means, of course, is what we already knew: neither of these guys has anything in common with you.
*****
Which is not the case with my family. Since none of us were born with silver spoons in our mouths, we pursue honest professions. We are teachers and mechanics, salesmen and firefighters. And every now and then, one of us ends up on a calendar.
Such is the case with my cousin Charlie, who is featured on the 2005 Chicago Firefighter Calendar. Money raised supports the Ignite the Spirit Fund, which helps firefighters care for their own by providing funds to them and their families in times of need. You can learn more about the Fund through their website. While you're there, pick up a calendar. Or hobnob with the firefighters in the flesh at the Calendar Release Party, next Tuesday, October 26 at Tilli's, 1952 N. Halsted, in Chicago.
*****
Halloween is right around the corner, which means Monsterfest begins this Sunday on AMC. Along with all the Omen, Halloween and Amityville Horror sequels you can choke down, there's the occasional classic (The Fly) or oddity (Prophecy, They Live). Universal must have reclaimed the rights to their original horror classics, but you can still see John Travolta melt in the Devil's Rain. And there's a whole day of Godzilla.
*****
Or a whole weekend. October 28 to 30 sees Godzillafest come to the University of Kansas. Organized by history professor Bill Tsutsui, the conference "In Godzilla's Footsteps: Japanese Pop Culture Icons on the Global Stage," celebrates the 50th anniversary of the release of the original Gojira, which will be screened. In addition to the film festival, the conference features exhibitions at the University's library and museums of natural history and art, as well as speakers from Harvard, Duke and Vanderbilt University. Hopefully no one will address one of the professors in a panel discussion by saying, "Doctah! Rook!"
According to the website, "All events are free, because that's how Godzilla would want it."
With fewer than a dozen days left until the election, more than a few folks are wondering if he's prepping for his role as the October Surprise. I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Rove! It's quite possible the Bushies have him on ice somewhere. Maybe even literally on ice, having killed him in active engagement or stumbled across him, dead of failed kidneys, somewhere on the Sino-Indian border. The question for the GOPs is when to reveal the exquisite corpse. After all, Rove told Sean Hannity at the end of September to expect a surprise this month, and there are only 9 days left. Let's hope it's something more substantial than the foolishness over at Sinclair broadcasting.
The venerable history of the October Surprise goes back to those heady days of the fall of 1980. In this case, "fall" means both "Autumn" and "collapse." 52 Americans were held hostage in Iraq and Ronald Reagan and President Carter were battling it out for the White House. Although the release of the hostages was brokered in October of that year, they weren't released until January 20, 1981, the day of Ronald Reagan's inauguration. Some believe that members of the Reagan campaign worked with members of the CIA to delay the release of the hostages, since an immediate release would have helped Carter's reelection effort. Surprise! Though campaigns of both parties have used the Surprise over the years, Karl Rove is the current master of the dirty trick, as he has demonstrated in contests involving Ann Richards, Max Cleland and John McCain.
Obviously, there's no point in announcing the capture or killing of Osama too early. The last thing anyone wants is a bounce that dissipates before election day. Even worse, releasing the news early gives pundits and spin-meisters and journalists - if there are any left in this country - the opportunity to call the ploy a ploy. There's always the possibility of a backlash. As Ross Baker, a political science professor at Rutgers University, says, "Producing a high-level al Qaeda leader would immediately invite suspicion about whether this person has been cooling his heels in a safe house some place." The safest thing to do is to save the announcement until election eve, and hope the masses are great enough asses to overlook the timing and simply perceive you as the saviour you are. Some have gone as far as to say the Bushies don't actually need Osama, they just need a viable corpse. They can simply announce killing a "high ranking al Qaeda official" in Pakistan, and say they need to verify his identification before they can make a statement. By the time he is discovered not to be Osama, on Nov. 3, it's too late.
The other problem with hauling out Osasma's remains too early is that someone like Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the Iraqi beheader who recently announced his alliance with al Qaeda, will annoint himself as leader of the terrorist org. Zarqawi is a young and nimble capo, and just the guy to take over the reins when the old boss retires. On the other hand, Zarqawi is probably not enough of a celeb to the average American that his capture would provide the necessary oomph for a last minute push. There is, of course, the possibility that despite his radio silence, Osama is still on the loose. But as you can see from the above example, saying you've captured Osama and actually capturing Osama is not necessarily the same thing.
Bush is currently saying of Kerry, "he can run, but he can't hide," a bromide he previously applied to Osama bin Laden. Back when he was still thinking about him. John Stewart has observed that so far, bin Laden has been able to do both. We'll see what the next week brings.
*****
The China Daily Website refutes reports that Osama bin Laden is hiding in western China. Their coverage makes me think I'm reading the wrong news outlets. The paper calls a reporter's query about the report "such an outlandish question," and says of bin Laden, "stories about his hiding have been flying around." The article concludes with the proposition that "The report should be carried in the fiction section, which allows flights of fantasy rather than hard facts."
The home page of China Daily features, along with standard National, Business and Sports news, links to two special sections, US Elections and Glorious China. The former carries the same news feeds as Yahoo ("Kids pick Kerry to be the next president," "Bush receives endorsement from Iran"). The latter is 80% Deng Xiaoping. Glorious.
*****
In response to a Weekly Reader story about Christian Spam, one correspondent observed that "Christian One Low Bill sounds like a Chinese dish." I laughed and laughed.
*****
There You Go Again
Teresa Heinz Kerry shot off her mouth about Laura Bush this week, saying "I don't know that she's ever had a real job - I mean, since she's been grown up." After the Bush campaign - in the non-partisan reporting of the New York Times - "pounced on the remark," THK apologized, saying, "I had forgotten that Mrs. Bush had worked as a schoolteacher and librarian, and there couldn't be a more important job than teaching our children." Mrs. Bush graciously accepted, saying there was no need for an apology and that she understood how easy it is to misspeak on the campaign trail. This was not sufficient for Bush bulldog Karen Hughes, who said on CNN, "These kind of comments are an unfortunate way to try to drive a wedge between women who work at home and women who work outside the home. And I think it's just unfortunate to try to disparage women who have made the choice of making their families a priority." Apparently Ms. Hughes is also unaware that Mrs. Bush has worked outside the home. Told that THK had apologized, Hughes said, "the apology also made the comment worse, because she seems to have forgotten that being a mother is a real job." That argument might hold more water had Heinz Kerry not added, "As someone who has been both a full-time mom and full-time in work force, I know we all have valuable experiences that shape who we are."
My heart goes out to Laura Bush. Not for Teresa's comment. But as a former teacher and librarian, and as an advocate for literacy, it must be horrifying to live with three of the least literate people in the country. We all make our deals with the devil.
*****
In Other News ...
Members of George Bush's extended family have come out against his candidacy. A number of them have joined together to create the site, Bush Relatives for Kerry. They are descendants of the sister of Prescott Bush, the father of George H.W. Bush. In other words, their parents are all cousins to the first President Bush. And none of them are invited to the family Christmas party.
The family dynamic comes out most clearly in statement by Chris House, a teacher in Washington state. (Prescott's sister Mary Bush married Francis E. House, Jr.) "Being a son of George Herbert Walker Bush's first cousin, I've been witness to a family that bred itself for leadership. Bushes have made their political mark on a local, national and global level, with mixed success. The thing that troubles me most with this current president is a heightened sense of entitlement. Throughout the 2000 election process, George W. Bush seemed to view his ascendancy as something of a given, something he didn't feel he had to work for along the way, like many others before him. The reigning symptom of this attitude is this: there is a stubborn refusal to look at a given situation in other, possibly more constructive ways. 'I was made for this position - so I've got to be right.'" In other words, George W. Bush has always been a dick.
*****
On the Links page of Bush Relatives for Kerry, there's a link to Librarians Against Bush. It seems ironic that librarians have become the first line of defense for our civil liberties, but such is the case. They were the first ones to speak out against the Patriot Act, leading John Ashcroft to accuse them of "baseless hysteria." Records obtained by the ACLU through the Freedom of Information Act show that, within a month of stating that the sections of the Act that apply directly to libraries, Sections 215 and 216, had never been used, Section 215 was, in fact, used. Baseless hysteria! According to the ACLU, among the documents they obtained is "an internal FBI memo, dated October 29, 2003, acknowledging that Section 215 of the Patriot Act can be used to obtain information about innocent people. The memo contradicts the government's assertion, made repeatedly on the public record, that Section 215 can be used only against suspected terrorists and spies." Baseless!
Being librarians, the librarians cite the Benjamin Franklin quote, "Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both."
*****
Ancestry.com has turned up another relative who opposes George Bush's reelection: John Kerry. The genealogy site has traced the bloodlines of both men back, back, back to the turn of the 17th century, with the union of Edmund Reade (born 1563) and Elizabeth Cooke (born 1578). Among their children were Margaret, born 1598, and Elizabeth, born 1615. Nine generations later on Elizabeth's side, we find John Kerry. Eleven generations down from Margaret comes GWB. This makes them ninth cousins twice removed, or so I am told.
All that this means, of course, is what we already knew: neither of these guys has anything in common with you.
*****
Which is not the case with my family. Since none of us were born with silver spoons in our mouths, we pursue honest professions. We are teachers and mechanics, salesmen and firefighters. And every now and then, one of us ends up on a calendar.
Such is the case with my cousin Charlie, who is featured on the 2005 Chicago Firefighter Calendar. Money raised supports the Ignite the Spirit Fund, which helps firefighters care for their own by providing funds to them and their families in times of need. You can learn more about the Fund through their website. While you're there, pick up a calendar. Or hobnob with the firefighters in the flesh at the Calendar Release Party, next Tuesday, October 26 at Tilli's, 1952 N. Halsted, in Chicago.
*****
Halloween is right around the corner, which means Monsterfest begins this Sunday on AMC. Along with all the Omen, Halloween and Amityville Horror sequels you can choke down, there's the occasional classic (The Fly) or oddity (Prophecy, They Live). Universal must have reclaimed the rights to their original horror classics, but you can still see John Travolta melt in the Devil's Rain. And there's a whole day of Godzilla.
*****
Or a whole weekend. October 28 to 30 sees Godzillafest come to the University of Kansas. Organized by history professor Bill Tsutsui, the conference "In Godzilla's Footsteps: Japanese Pop Culture Icons on the Global Stage," celebrates the 50th anniversary of the release of the original Gojira, which will be screened. In addition to the film festival, the conference features exhibitions at the University's library and museums of natural history and art, as well as speakers from Harvard, Duke and Vanderbilt University. Hopefully no one will address one of the professors in a panel discussion by saying, "Doctah! Rook!"
According to the website, "All events are free, because that's how Godzilla would want it."
posted by John Bliss at
11:00 AM
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